Via Schwab: Read the article
It’s not a terrible list of nine ideas, but it is a superficial one. The problem is that each of the ideas has to do with money, which isn’t really what gift buying is about.
#2, Set a budget. #4, Don’t go into debt to pay for gifts. #7, Don’t buy more online just to get free shipping. I violate #7 most years.
Gift giving is really about connection. It’s about our relationships with other people and symbolizing them. Gifts are a proxy. They’re an artifact. They mark something intangible as tangible.
Here’s what I would have written for Schwab.
It’s that time of year again. Last year, at this time of year, Americans spent $1,600 dollars on holiday gifts. There are work parties, family parties, white elephant, and fireplace stockings to stuff. There are kids, parents, parent’s kids (those dang sibling gift exchanges) and more.
It’s too much.
It’s okay to say it’s too much.
Because here’s the thing – it’s too much for them too.
Here’s a two-step plan for making this year a great season.
Step 1: Buy the gifts you’re excited for. Kids love presents. Dads love new socks. Teens love new hoodies. If you know the perfect gift for the perfect person – get it! That’s what this is all about.
Step 2: Share your priorities. When our money goes to one thing it doesn’t go to another. It’s the “opportunity cost”. We mostly understand that when it’s said but we forget when it’s not. So spend your money intentionally.
“Dear Mother-in-Law, here is some chocolate/coffee/flowers. We’re trying to spend a little less this year because we are saving up for a big family trip to Florida. We know the kids will love exploring the sand for shark’s teeth, soaking up the sunshine, and splashing in the waves.”
Instead of a vacation maybe it’s college or a new, more reliable, safer car for your spouse. Whatever it is, make sure it’s intentional. And make sure the gift receiver understands that it’s important.
“It’s better to give then receive”. That’s advice you don’t understand until you’ve gotten older. Then it’s obvious. By not getting someone something you’ve let them become the giver rather than receiver. Your in-laws have “given” you a slice of tuition, vacation, or locomotion. They’ve connected.
Some people won’t get it. But if you live intentionally and remove the frivolity from not just the gift-giving but the rest of your financial life, they’ll start to see it.
Happy Holidays from all of us at Schwab.
Happy Holidays.