I do not like these words and frames, I do not like the discount games, I do not like the way this stands, I do not like this ad’s brand.
Apologies to Dr. Seuss, but this dad and grads ad from Twillory in the Money Stuff newsletter is just sad.
(I’ll stop now)
The problem with a ‘Dads & Grads Sale!’ is that people don’t really want to save money on these gifts. Father’s Day and graduation are special. There’s nothing people get for their dads that reflects their role. A coffee machine or picture frame or dress shirt doesn’t say ‘Thanks, I love you’ for all the conversations, miles, and smiles of our lives. But we try.
Except deals. Dads and grads shopping is a ‘you get what you pay for situation’. Reframe it. If Mother’s Day flowers were half off would you still do it? It’s different, right?
Unless they’re a deal finder (Hi Uncle Frank!) there’s no utility in the discount. Discounts do push action – but there’s already a deadline, Father’s Day!
The wasted space on ‘discount’ should focus on value. The Twillory reviews have good wording for this: breathable, my old suits don’t cut it anymore, my new favorite work shirt, most comfortable shirt I’ve ever owned, great for road trips, stretch and comfortable, these products now dominate my wardrobe.
That language is what the ad should say.
Follow the link and there’s a two for X sale. That’s good. It could have been the messaging: buy for you and dad. That’s a way to rewrite the ad. Another:
October 27, 2021: @Twillory amazing customer service. Performance pants I ordered were too short. Within a day, and before receiving my return, you shipped out the new size. No company of any size has ever done that. Always told I need to wait. Trust your customers like Twillory!!!
Just copy a tweet. This uses the language of the customer and reduces hesitation about a new brand with a new fabric. Or:
Sponsored Content: Father’s Day is June 19. Dads and Grads need help looking good. Don’t buy whatever polo and pants – buy something nice. Whether for the graduate’s first job, internship, or six weeks backpacking Europe or for dad’s round of golf, Sunday service, or dinner with mom – buy something nice. Order by June 24th for free shipping on orders of two shirts or more.
The angle here is that the customer is not the consumer. Also, the discount shouldn’t be for the merchandise directly. Free shipping or socks or gifts work better because they retain the product’s value.
All of the parts of the ad are true, but they could be better (copy)written. Second consider the ‘job’ of the gift giving (don’t be cheap, buy something nice) and of the gift (wear this in these circumstances). Happy early Father’s Day to all the dads out there.
This could be wrong. Their strategy may suggest this copy. But it feels inferior and stiff unlike their shirts.