A new point of view is worth forty IQ.
The mechanism might be framing. Look at the same situation from a different set of experiences, expertise, or mindset, and the possible solutions shift.
The not us but them point of view. Peter Attia used to be a very angry man. In his podcast with Andrew Huberman, he doesn’t elaborate on how just that he had a “raging” fire inside. He’d be hardest on himself.
Try this Attia’s therapist suggested when you make a mistake, record a voice note on your phone about what you would say to a friend if they made that same mistake. Bingo. Peter’s comments softened. He was kinder to a friend than he was to himself. The effects were immediate. What had been a (hurtful) lifelong trait was gone in a few weeks.
The not us but it point of view. Clayton Christensen wrote, “We are here to explore not what we hope will happen to us but rather what the theories predict will happen to us, as a result of different decisions and actions.”
What does the theory predict? It’s a helpful abstraction in our personal lives because we err toward the fundamental attribution error. We dismiss luck in our successes and credit it in our failures. It’s never us.
Theory removes that. Our ego stands on the sidelines as the theory moves up and down the playing field.
The not us but an engineer. The best part about being a good engineer, teaches Mark Rober, is that it makes you a good anything. Engineers are another profession problem-solving example.
That’s what Katy Milkman found too. As an engineering major, she complained to her fiancé about going to the gym. He suggested she pull a Watney and engineer the shit out of it. Milkman started with the basics, If/Then statements. If I go to the gym, she told herself. Then I get to listen to this audiobook or watch this television show.
…
Framing works. It works for others. It works for us.
Framing works. It’s easy. It’s free.
Framing works because it forces new thoughts. I never thought of things that way.
The Waiter's Pad 