How to Talk About Money with Your Rich Friends

We all have rich friends. The richest person you know, knows someone richer.

I meant to go running one Sunday but as soon as leaving the driveway I saw Brian and Rachel – two neighbors I hadn’t seen recently. Instead, I walked with them.

Brian and Rachel are rich friends. Their house is bigger and in a nicer section of the neighborhood. They drive a Mercedes, I have a Toyota Sienna. They eat at restaurants I’ve never heard of. They take day trips – via plane – to see their son in Philadelphia. They donate enough to the Orlando arts their name is in the program and they get valet parking. They’re richer than me.

I’ve got another friend not as rich as me. Before I talk about him, let’s define rich.

One of my high school students lives in our neighborhood – the regular big and decent part like me. He said I was rich. “You’re right” I replied, “And here’s how you can tell”.

Anyone who owns any piece of exercise equipment is rich. They have enough money and space to buy extra things and enough energy (or aspirations of) to work out for whatever reason. Non-concern about basic things like food and shelter comes when you’re rich. I have a bike. My student has a rower. We’re rich.

My not-as-rich friend Bobby (a different one) likes to talk about how expensive things are. Travel is expensive. Our HOA is expensive. Vehicles and food and kids are expensive. Listening to him costs me energy.

But our conversations aren’t about money. Life isn’t about money. It’s not even really about the things money leads to.

It’s not the dinner, it’s the company.

It’s not the hoa, it’s the safety of family and proximity of friends.

It’s not the place tickets, it’s seeing your Ohio cousins once a summer.

That’s what Bobby misses and what Rachel and Brian get.

When I talk to my rich friends I listen for that: How do they love their peoples? When I talk to my rich friends that’s what I say: Here’s how I love my peoples.